The past cannot be undone. What you change is how you feel about it.

Make The Change Happen

How are you going to do it, my friend? You’re all done feeling wretched all the time, you know forgive does not mean forget, you are soooo ready, but you need a plan. Read on, my friend, and find out how to get the benefits of forgiveness for yourself. Right now.

Guilt and Hatred Are Killers

Ask any doctor. Stress is a killer. This is because your body and mind are a continuum. In other words, although they are not entirely the same, a great overlap exists that unites them. Relieve your mental stress and your body will be happier too. Nothing relieves mental stress like forgiveness. Guilt and hatred resolve nothing; they just sustain the negativity that continues to obstruct you from your goals. Forgiveness, on the other hand, undoes the stickiness that binds you to an unhappy past.

Does It Work?

Absolutely - for you. Since the forgiveness experience will happen only for you, only you will receive its benefits. Your forgiveness may not influence a change in the behavior of others one bit. But it’s not about them. It’s about you. Forgiveness is about generating your own healing. You are the only player in your life over whom you have all the power. It’s time to exercise your personal power, your right to choose to feel better about who you are, your right to process your past and move on with your life.

It’s a Private Thing

Since forgiving is all about you getting your own heart clear, it’s best done in the privacy of your own mind. Afterwards you’ll have the choice of telling others, if you like, but initially the process works best in solitude. Tell no one, just do the work. And watch how easy it is to feel better all day every day. Contrast this to the fact that all the pity parties in the world with your friends and relatives never made you feel better one bit. Those tactics don’t work because they don’t process emotions, they merely create a feedback loop that deepens the groove of the pain. Since you know that what you used to do didn’t work, it’s time to do what does.

Forgive in Steps

Like a pyramid, forgiveness may seem overwhelming at first, but it’s easily accomplished step by step. So begin by recognizing that there are three sections:

.forgiveness of others

.self-forgiveness

.receiving forgiveness from others

And these can be further broken down into nicely manageable chunks.

Forgiveness of Others

When you forgive others in categories, it proceeds more easily. For example, you could choose to use the categories of Strangers, Friends, Family, The People who Hurt You The Most, and Anybody Else. You may include additional categories like Exlovers, Neighbors, Coworkers, Employees, etc., and some forgivers need to add the category of Humanity Itself. And you can start with the categories you find easiest. Once you notice how good it feels to forgive, this will inspire you to forgive everyone as much as possible, as fully as you can.

Self Forgiveness

In this step, start with your earliest years and ascend: Newborn, three year old, five year old, ten year old, teenager, 20s, etc., and on up to your current age, forgiving yourself thoroughly for absolutely everything as you go. Once you get to your current age, forgive yourself for your whole life. Remember, all humans are flawed. No one is a perfect son or daughter, man or woman, husband or wife, student or teacher, worker or boss. You are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Forgiveness is an optimal method to process your learnings.

Receiving Forgiveness from Others

In the privacy of your own mind, visualize then apologize to folks you’ve wronged, and let them accept your apology. It may surprise you to learn that others really want to forgive you. They do. So let them forgive you and receive the cleansing of that forgiveness. Afterwards, with some people, you may elect to actually apologize to them in person, but proceed carefully. There are a few folks in the world who can not accept apologies in real life, and this is why you process all of your apologies in your mind’s eye thoroughly first, so that you get the emotional benefit of having apologized whether those apologies get accepted in real life or not.

Forgive by Percentages in Repeated Attempts

Can you forgive the people who hurt you the most 10%? 20%? 80%? 99.9%? It’s not all or nothing. Ease on up to higher and higher percentages, always aiming for 100% forgiveness, but being real with yourself. If the people who hurt you the most are not 100% forgiveable on your first attempt, continue forgiving them bit by bit till you get as close to full forgiveness as possible. Start with a realistic percentage, then increase your forgiveness on subsequent attempts, always aiming for 100%. Just do your best.

Forgiving People Versus Events

It can be one thing to forgive individual people, and can yet be quite another thing to forgive the things those people did. What to do? Forgive the events and actions as they come to mind. As you think of instance after instance, forgive everyone involved as best you can for everything that happened.

Is There An Easier Way?

Yes, there is an easier way. “The Forgiveness Pyramid” CD takes you through all the steps in under an hour. Using emotive visualization, you’ll be able to have the full forgiveness experience privately, in your own time, in your own home. You are unique, and may find that some steps in the “Forgiveness Pyramid” require repeated listenings for full relief. And full relief is what you want.

Michelle Beaudry, board certified hypnotist, lives in Central Florida, and takes clients by phone from all over the world. She wrote and narrated “The Forgiveness Pyramid” CD. Contact her at info@beaudryhypnosis.com.

http://www.cdonlinewarehouse.com/cmd.asp?Clk=2036738

[tags]personal growth, personal development, forgiveness, spiritual[/tags]

Lies are defenses, mechanical thoughts created into words and actions to defend what you have separated within yourself. Separation creates additional fears; fears accompany frustrations because in separation confusion must follow. Confusion over what you “think” verses what is real and true in your subconscious. When you quest for the truth within you, unconditionally, your intuitive knowing begins to birth and guide you. If you use “thinking” that has been misguided through any level of anger / fear, your life remains in different levels of stress, conflict, and lack. Thinking is a fixed element. Your intuitive knowing is never fixed it flows with life situations as it is of the moment. In truth, it is your intuitive knowing that is the real guide of your life, not thinking. Thinking comes after you know. Thinking is often intermixed with defenses to bury pain, false impressions, misunderstood perceptions, all formed over time as a way to keep you from the unconditional responsibility that you are the creator of your reality. Now in defense of lies and liars, no one really means to lie. Moreover, not only does no one means to—most do not even know they are doing it. This occurs because of the state of unconsciousness most choose to live in. A state of not being aware of what is motivating the “lies” to others and yourself keeps you form the unconditional responsibility of creating the life of your dreams, easily, abundantly, fulfilled in the freedom of living you and sharing the unique gift you came to give the world.

You may not want to hear that, yet, if you are not living the life you love, giving and receiving in a way that completely fulfills you, then it is true. Some may want to admit that, yet it is what it is. If you do not have a life of your dreams, fulfilled, or free in the life you are creating, you are deceiving, yourself.

By simply acknowledging this, now you can do something about it.
Denial keeps you in the same old, same old. You stay unconscious and in denial to remain attached or addicted to what is your higher priority, (conscious of this or not,) over living what you say, you want.

You may want to deny anything bad, hurtful, or simply unfulfilling that happens to you, and place the fault on anyone or anything else—if you do this—you are in denial about the lies you tell yourself.

Any lies you tell yourself repeatedly creates its own life, and becomes automatic in your behavior; therefore, you make choices that kept you from having what you want. The ability of the human mind and the depth it can go to deceive itself is utterly amazing.

Now that you know that, what do you want to do? Continue with the same old, same old, or become aware of what you are receiving from those lies so you can make a “conscious” choice to hit the delete button and move in to what you dream your life “could be like” and make it a “reality” not just something you dream.

Remember reality from an unconscious “lying” state is very subjective and is operating mostly from perceptions and illusions. Reality from an aware state is all you would love your life to be.

So, what do you do about all this?

Here’s a “really big” suggestion, FIRST be honest with yourself on what you need, want and desire. Needs are basic requirements, food, water, shelter, wants are the form and color they come in that supports you on a body level, desires is what allows your heart and soul to sing.

Do you need professional help? Do you have issues with overly obsessive disorders, out of control behavior that fuels anger, neurosis, addictions either chemical or in disrupting harmful (less that supportive) relationships or anything else so out-of-balance you require a physician to help you return to the world? Then you really need to seek professional help from a trained physician or therapist.

If you do not feel you fall in those categories, try the various ways available on this web site that were uniquely and with purposeful intention developed to ground advanced spiritual wisdom to support yourself in having your needs, wants, and desires met. The different options will support you in different ways; find the one that works for you. At the least, it will provide a level of awareness of yourself so you can begin to recognize the “unconscious” lies that keep you from having the life you love, more easily.
The best to you and yours for,
Healthy living,
Veronique

The Choice is Mine

[tags]spiritual, healthy living, abundance, conscious living[/tags]

Your esteemed self is the individual who cannot wait to get up in the morning to sing your song and dance your dance. The dishonored self wakes up dreading the day, denying the dance, and silencing the song. When being the esteemed self, you attract endless possibilities. You may not know this right now; it may even seem a little frightening to venture into the unknown, yet you are worth living what you love, so seize this opportunity. I was scared out of my tree that my esteemed self would not be accepted. I discovered what I was afraid of was not being accepted by others, it had to do with me not accepting myself through the reflection of others.

Throughout the evolution of humankind, The Word has held power. When we speak with the power of The Word without completely understanding the words we are using, we create unconscious internal confusion within our subconscious mind. To become unconditionally and responsibly aware of the messages we are reaffirming both into our outer reality and into our subconscious mind, it is necessary to first understand the meaning and the power behind the words we use. Additionally, effective communication, either with self or with others, centers on understanding word usage.

The example I want to use is the commonly used words to describe self, self-esteem. What really occurs when we use these words in this order most commonly used without a conscious awareness of their undertone? To understand the power behind the underlying meaning of what we project when we define self through self-esteem, I have chosen to use the most common form of defining those words, the American rendition of the English language, Webster’s New World Dictionary. Webster defines the hyphenated word “self-esteem” as: 1. belief in oneself. 2. undue pride in oneself. Let us go a little deeper and define Webster’s meaning of “undue.” Undue, by Webster’s definition, means 1. not appropriate, improper. 2. excessive, unreasonable. These dual definitions of one word (self-esteem) can bring about a conflict in our subconscious mind. Are we “dishonoring self” through undue pride or respecting self through belief in oneself?

If we speak we desire self-esteem and our inner belief system is repelled by anything excessive or improper, how can we outwardly attain what we unconsciously and inwardly repel? Again, by Webster’s definition, if we state we have no or low self-esteem, what do we mean? Are we saying we have no belief in ourselves, or that we have high, improper pride? If we define self in terms of a duality definition, it becomes difficult to attain what is confusing in the subconscious mind. Indeed, any thoughts of duality continue conflicting internal messages. If one chooses to continue a separated and divided consciousness, choices are made to define oneself through words such as high and low — High self-esteem or low self-esteem. If we choose to laminate self with these types of words in an effort to identify ourselves, to seek, to find, or to discover worth outside self, this continues the separation of self within confusion. In confusion, it is hard to remember that your worth comes from unconditionally and responsibly being yourself.

Your worth is NOT outside you in what you do; it is the simple elegance of you being all you can be by allowing yourself to be yourself. When you are living the love of you, then you are truly in a “loving act,” expressing the Esteemed Self through the humility of service rather than an artificial sacrifice to service. In any artificial sacrifice to service, you forfeit your intention to share the honor of your love. To truly be in a loving act to serve, there must be no thought of serving, only doing what you love. If you are not doing what you love, and you think you are serving, this is a conditional act. Being the esteemed self, loving what you do, and sharing that with others, is unconditional. Thus, a truly loving act translates into living the gift of the Esteemed Self. The gift you came to share in service to others as you serve yourself completes a circle of oneness.

To truly know and embrace all the different parts of self which are the Esteemed Self, let us begin by taking responsibility to understand the words we use. Since this essay is about Self-Esteem, I will continue with Webster’s definition of the word “self.” Self: 1. the identity, character, etc., of any person or thing. 2. one’s own person as distinct from all others. 3. one’s own welfare or interest. Esteem: 1. to value highly; respect 2. to consider, favorable opinion.

After understanding the definition of these words, the simple choice of rearranging the words and placing ‘esteem’ first and ‘self’ second shifts the focus. Esteemed Self has a clear oneness focus by placing value and respect on one’s own person. The act of respecting self though clear choices, clear knowing, and an unadulterated knowing allows us to be love. When our intent is clear, we dramatically expand spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Our conscious understanding of how we respond to life increases and deepens our awareness in our current relationship with all aspects of life. To masterfully go beyond your current comfort level, you must allow yourself to be unconditionally responsible for your experiences. Responsibility through honest unconditional communication of thoughts and feelings without judgment or blame on self or others allows the esteemed self to be.

Let us take this a step further by bringing into memory the universal truth I spoke of earlier, that we are all One. With this wisdom available to us, let us place it into working knowledge by choosing to focus on the value of respecting all the Reflected Selves of humankind through this unity with oneness. This type of focus creates compassionate understanding through the Esteemed Self expressed. Through honor, respect, and allowing love, we realize our existing wholeness. We remember that in truth, we are only self, spiraling outward as we expand our awareness to include all that exists as God/Man manifest. To know who we truly are, we choose experiences that unravel the mystery of self in the adventure of life. In each experience, we have a free will choice. We have the free will to choose oneness or duality (separation), conditional or unconditional.

The Esteemed Self continues to expand at your level of courage to be yourself. No right or wrong, no lesser or greater, it is what it is in the moment of your expression in the journey of the life you have chosen. You will continuously accomplish amazing things for yourself as you demonstrate happiness, fulfillment, and total ease in the love of the adventure of life, as your Esteemed Self becomes the mirrored reflection and inspiration to others to remember and share their own love. Although remembering, knowing and living this important element of an Esteemed Self is vital and supports returning to living and being one with love, as you grow in awareness you will remember more and more that, in truth, there is only self, there is only love. Be conscious of the choices you make when defining self. How do the words you use affect your outer and inner realities? Do they support you in loving yourself or do they create the opposite? Choose to become aware of your words.

All Rights reserved Veronique
www.thechoiceismine.com
[tags]self esteem, subconscious, conscious, manifest, responsibility[/tags]