by Michelle Beaudry

The past cannot be undone. What you change is how you feel about it.

Make The Change Happen

How are you going to do it, my friend? You’re all done feeling wretched all the time, you know forgive does not mean forget, you are soooo ready, but you need a plan. Read on, my friend, and find out how to get the benefits of forgiveness for yourself. Right now.

Guilt and Hatred Are Killers

Ask any doctor. Stress is a killer. This is because your body and mind are a continuum. In other words, although they are not entirely the same, a great overlap exists that unites them. Relieve your mental stress and your body will be happier too. Nothing relieves mental stress like forgiveness. Guilt and hatred resolve nothing; they just sustain the negativity that continues to obstruct you from your goals. Forgiveness, on the other hand, undoes the stickiness that binds you to an unhappy past.

Does It Work?

Absolutely - for you. Since the forgiveness experience will happen only for you, only you will receive its benefits. Your forgiveness may not influence a change in the behavior of others one bit. But it’s not about them. It’s about you. Forgiveness is about generating your own healing. You are the only player in your life over whom you have all the power. It’s time to exercise your personal power, your right to choose to feel better about who you are, your right to process your past and move on with your life.

It’s a Private Thing

Since forgiving is all about you getting your own heart clear, it’s best done in the privacy of your own mind. Afterwards you’ll have the choice of telling others, if you like, but initially the process works best in solitude. Tell no one, just do the work. And watch how easy it is to feel better all day every day. Contrast this to the fact that all the pity parties in the world with your friends and relatives never made you feel better one bit. Those tactics don’t work because they don’t process emotions, they merely create a feedback loop that deepens the groove of the pain. Since you know that what you used to do didn’t work, it’s time to do what does.

Forgive in Steps

Like a pyramid, forgiveness may seem overwhelming at first, but it’s easily accomplished step by step. So begin by recognizing that there are three sections:

.forgiveness of others

.self-forgiveness

.receiving forgiveness from others

And these can be further broken down into nicely manageable chunks.

Forgiveness of Others

When you forgive others in categories, it proceeds more easily. For example, you could choose to use the categories of Strangers, Friends, Family, The People who Hurt You The Most, and Anybody Else. You may include additional categories like Exlovers, Neighbors, Coworkers, Employees, etc., and some forgivers need to add the category of Humanity Itself. And you can start with the categories you find easiest. Once you notice how good it feels to forgive, this will inspire you to forgive everyone as much as possible, as fully as you can.

Self Forgiveness

In this step, start with your earliest years and ascend: Newborn, three year old, five year old, ten year old, teenager, 20s, etc., and on up to your current age, forgiving yourself thoroughly for absolutely everything as you go. Once you get to your current age, forgive yourself for your whole life. Remember, all humans are flawed. No one is a perfect son or daughter, man or woman, husband or wife, student or teacher, worker or boss. You are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Forgiveness is an optimal method to process your learnings.

Receiving Forgiveness from Others

In the privacy of your own mind, visualize then apologize to folks you’ve wronged, and let them accept your apology. It may surprise you to learn that others really want to forgive you. They do. So let them forgive you and receive the cleansing of that forgiveness. Afterwards, with some people, you may elect to actually apologize to them in person, but proceed carefully. There are a few folks in the world who can not accept apologies in real life, and this is why you process all of your apologies in your mind’s eye thoroughly first, so that you get the emotional benefit of having apologized whether those apologies get accepted in real life or not.

Forgive by Percentages in Repeated Attempts

Can you forgive the people who hurt you the most 10%? 20%? 80%? 99.9%? It’s not all or nothing. Ease on up to higher and higher percentages, always aiming for 100% forgiveness, but being real with yourself. If the people who hurt you the most are not 100% forgiveable on your first attempt, continue forgiving them bit by bit till you get as close to full forgiveness as possible. Start with a realistic percentage, then increase your forgiveness on subsequent attempts, always aiming for 100%. Just do your best.

Forgiving People Versus Events

It can be one thing to forgive individual people, and can yet be quite another thing to forgive the things those people did. What to do? Forgive the events and actions as they come to mind. As you think of instance after instance, forgive everyone involved as best you can for everything that happened.

Is There An Easier Way?

Yes, there is an easier way. “The Forgiveness Pyramid” CD takes you through all the steps in under an hour. Using emotive visualization, you’ll be able to have the full forgiveness experience privately, in your own time, in your own home. You are unique, and may find that some steps in the “Forgiveness Pyramid” require repeated listenings for full relief. And full relief is what you want.

Michelle Beaudry, board certified hypnotist, lives in Central Florida, and takes clients by phone from all over the world. She wrote and narrated “The Forgiveness Pyramid” CD. Contact her at info@beaudryhypnosis.com.

http://www.cdonlinewarehouse.com/cmd.asp?Clk=2036738

[tags]personal growth, personal development, forgiveness, spiritual[/tags]

I wrote this book to show a flip side to “The Secret,” by Rhonda Byrne. Her material is wonderful, but she misses an important point: there is a dark secret that prevents us from experiencing all the good we so rightfully deserve.

My book is partly a self-help guide and partly an inspirational tool. Most importantly, it makes a significant contribution to our understanding of the profession of Social Work and to the new field of Life Coaching.

We can have a healthier, happier life if we are willing to control our negative side. However, this process poses significant challenges for us. Our social environment presents many obstacles and barriers to staying positive.

For example, America stands before us transfixed by the rhythm of automobile engines, entangled by a war of liberation and retaliation, surrounded by a haze of unnatural vapor and murky waters, mesmerized by the soothing images on color television sets and personal computers.

See the flashing lights; hear the wailing sirens of ambulances racing through our city streets to remove the bodies of children playing drug war games. Look at the women unsafe from attack while jogging in city parks or strolling through neighborhood parks or even office corridors. Youngsters are assaulted by gunman in schools, airport terminals, and McDonald Restaurants. Robbers steal and prey on the unsuspecting in subway stations, private homes or parking lots.

Meanwhile, numerous high school graduates can’t read or write, and many college graduates can’t find decent jobs. More of the clergy break their vows and end up in court or prison. Half of all eligible voters in our country rarely vote.

Millions of Americans who work, struggle to meet their basic needs for food, shelter, clothing and medical care. Forty-four million Americans don’t have healthcare insurance. More than half of our bankruptcy claims are due to overwhelming healthcare costs; yet our political system passes laws to make filing Chapter 7 even more difficult.

In the last year alone, a million people have joined the ranks of the poor. The mentally ill and our homeless continue to overwhelm local social service networks. Medicaid and prison costs threaten the solvency of state governments. Furthermore, mass media floods us with the uneasy images of emaciated third-world children, assassinations, terrorist bombings, casualties of war, looming pandemics, natural disasters, and fear.

The good news is that life doesn’t have to be an experience of constant pain and unhappiness. Unfortunately too many people, after initially trying to make some healthy changes, simply give up and return to their old ways of living. And life does appear to be very negative for so many of us.

By profession, I am a social worker who has learned to believe in our right to heal and find peace. This book will try to convince you of these facts: we can learn how to make changes or improvements in ourselves as well as our culture.

For the last 30 years of my adult life, I have reached out a loving hand to countless many that suffer and hurt. In spite of all the pain, sorrow, human misery, and hardships that I have witnessed, I am awe-struck by the incredible spiritual growth I see, including miracles that have appeared in my life’s journey.

Do you need a miracle? Are you facing a challenge of sickness, loneliness, pain, loss, excessive habits or lack? Surely you will agree that living in today’s world is exciting, but you also know there is so much that is wrong, destructive, and harmful.

Spend some time with me and we will talk about healings, happiness, miracles, and social reforms. My recovery experiences can be the start of your miracles; our miracles can begin to transform social ills; our culture dedicated to social healing can take its rightful place in the service to the needs of the world.

This is a book about emotional recovery, social work treatment, and the need for social healings; but above all else, it is a message of hope. Yet, my approach requires that ultimately each person find their own inner pathway to healing. Along these lines I am reminded of a story from the Talmud: (4):

“A young Rabbi talked to his master: ‘During the time when I am studying I feel filled with light and life, but as soon as I cease to study this mood disappears. What should I do?’ So the Rabbi replied: ‘It is like a man who walks through a forest on a dark night, and part of the way is accompanied by a companion who carries a lantern. Soon they come to the point where their paths divide, and they must go on alone. If each carries his own lantern, one need fear no darkness.’”

What I will share with you is not new but old and it is a lantern. If we are to survive in this world, I believe it is time to wake up and look around. Let us choose to see the Light. Let us sing the song of Light, and search for our emotional connection to the Light that flows inside and through us all. With this knowledge of spirituality firmly in place, we can claim our in-born right to healing, happiness, and freedom.

Like the ancient Greek philosophers emphasized; “Knowledge is not what a man has been told, shown, or taught; it can be only what he has found out for himself by long and rigorous search.” (5). Absolute Knowledge—the Light, is subject to many different styles and modes of interpretations, just like music can be expressed in an infinite number of modes.

The more I share with others, the more I discover that spirituality is everything I know and feel plus more than I know and feel—the mystical element. Follow that which is positive, wholesome, and good.

I have divided my book into two parts. Part I will focus on: face stressful feelings and think positive thoughts. Part II will conclude with: take positive action and turn to Positive Power. This is a emotional recovery formula. One can use it to facilitate personal healing, to help others, and to make improvements in our country.

My book illustrates that when find the power to unlock our dark secret, we can all become more effective change agents, which will help our nation heal too. And then one can super-size “The Secret,” to get the results we all want and need.

More information is available at www.challengedarksecret.com

[tags]self-improvement, recovery, social work[/tags]