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Creating Connection in a Relationship

Author: ntdynamics 09.06.2012 · Posted in Relationships

You’ve gone through the whole gamut of techniques required to ignite that spark of attraction. Congratulations – you’ve done what 99% of guys fail miserably at.

But attraction alone is not enough. In fact, while attraction is obviously the most talked about topic in the whole dating advice scene, attraction is just that: a spark. Attraction is good, it massages the ego, but to get

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women'...

Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Sexual Fantasies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

girls, I mean, really get girls, attraction is merely a stepping stone. No more, no less. Whereas we guys know if we’d have sex with a woman the minute we set eyes on her, it doesn’t work the same for women. She must be invested in you emotionally, and she must be genuinely connected to you. Lack of ‘connection and intimacy’, as it is called in New Tribal Dynamics, is the primary reason why girls may be attracted to you, but won’t return your calls/texts. She’s looking for that degree of comfort and familiarity in your company, as well as an overwhelming sense of connection to you that will convince her that having sex with you is the most natural thing to do.

Yes, CONNECTION. Sounds gay, but so true. Women are like that; they need the reassurance that the guy they are having sex with, is there because of some Godly force, some fateful energy as inexplicable as dark matter. They want to convince themselves that they aren’t sluts that sleep around with guys just for the heck of it, but more importantly, they want genuine reassurance that if you make her pregnant, you are sufficiently connected to her to stick by her and the child. Even if you use a condom, her primal emotions still register the act of sex as a huge risk.

Whatever the reason, there’s no way a woman will have sex with you if you don’t connect with her even if you’ve succeeded in getting her attracted to you.

Consider the guy that tries to initiate sex with a girl when he thinks he’s worked his charm on her and she’s attracted to him. All that he gets by trying to initiate sex with her is rejection and confusion. There’s an extremely important and basic element of sexual relationships that this guy’s missed out in his interaction with the girl- CONNECTION.

Connection between a man and a woman stems from mutual appreciation. There should be a genuine sense of mutual respect and admiration in addition to sexual attraction in a relationship. Most importantly, the energy between the man and the women has to be a charged, playful vibe which gives the impression of conspiracy between the two – isolation from the rest of the world in their little bubble of love.

If you want the woman to submit to your desire, you will first have to build up that feeling of trust in her. When a woman goes to bed with a man, it is only after she’s assured of the fact that he won’t hit it and split it. She needs to be sure that you’re not just using her for sex. Even if you have no intention of sticking around with her after you’ve had your lusty romp in bed, you’ll have to develop connection in the relationship to get her there in the first place.

If you fail to create connection, be ready to see all your efforts go down the drain and to face the rejection that’s inevitably round the corner. But perk up: this ‘rejection’ is nothing to do with you as a person, it’s simply about your GAME – what you did rather than what you are.

The easiest way to create connection through admiration is by focusing on something that she’s passionate about. Try to find out something that she does in her life that is meaningful or something that she’s devoted to. It could be a charity that she supports or it could be a cause that’s important to her. Then appreciate her genuinely for the depth of character she has, not simply for her bulging breasts, even though they are the best thing about her (don’t tell her that). She’ll glow from head to toe with the compliment about her character, her spirit, her mind, and she will in turn appreciate YOU all the more.

That’s a sure shot way of making her feel emotionally connected to you. This is just one example of creating mutual admiration. Use your own permutations and combinations depending on the kind of girl she is. Other topics such as family, are vitally important. At this stage, after she is attracted, you are definitely encouraged to ask the questions which many guys try to approach with, e.g. ‘where are you from’, but remember, still, don’t compliment her on her looks. She hears that all the time! Compliments at this stage are fine in moderation, but make sure it is genuine and about something other than her physique.

Once she gets that feeling of being connected to you emotionally, she’ll allow you to lead her to bed cause she’s fallen for you hook, line and sinker. Be prepared to realize that at this stage, women are just GUYS: they just need a connection to let them access the land of eager sexuality that most guys have even when walking around to do their grocery shopping. Women just need to be taken through an emotional progression before that can happen, and that’s what getting girls is all about.

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